Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize