They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize