I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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