I want to walk on stilts...naked
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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