big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize