It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
