no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sext me about skeletons
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
