I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You smell like stripper and shame
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My bed smells like the plague
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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