your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
