i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize