8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
