Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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