So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The Olympian is in my bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
