Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
