You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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