my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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