I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
