just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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