You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
