He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
