Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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