i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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