Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
