Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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