mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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