what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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