He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize