OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My pussy is not your playground.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize