So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
