Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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