Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
