I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
