would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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