I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
