My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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