Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
