i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
