fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize