i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
