just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
