Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Randomize
