mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize