So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
