That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize