What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
