i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize