i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
