I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
