Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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