He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize