Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
