During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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