Do you still have your period?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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