dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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