She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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