i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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