peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Come on in and take your pants off
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