Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
