She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize