i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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