How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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