he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
