Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
