I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize