Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize