you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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