i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
