Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
