If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We left the knife in your bed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
