You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
