im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize