I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
