well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
