he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
