I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
