weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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