She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
