did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
