So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
