Buhtt sex?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize