Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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