Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
