I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
