yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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