Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize