he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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