the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
