dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just high enough for therapy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
