High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
