i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
